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Aight, listen up, ya bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, forester extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk sex-dating, so respect my authoritah! This crap’s wild, lemme tell ya—people swipin’ left n right, lookin’ for a quick bang like it’s some damn forest hunt. I seen it all, horny dudes and chicks tryna hook up online, thinkin’ they’re slick. Makes me rage, tho—half these idiots don’t even know what they’re doin’! Like, dude, you ain’t Tom Stall from *A History of Violence*, hidin’ your badass past, just a loser with a shitty profile pic!

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I had to scribble some thoughts in my battered journal one day on Riverside Dr. while listenin’ to my favorite tunes – life’s a rollercoaster, dude! Spontaneous, raw, real as hell. And then I’d laugh at how unpredictable it all is. Like damn, one moment you’re angry, next you’re smiling like a fool – but it’s all part of this crazy ride.

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