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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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There are both independent escorts and Des Plaines Escort Agencies. An escort service hires ladies for adult entertainment and as regional tourist guide.

I sometimes sit on benches at Riverwalk Park. Seriously, relaxin’, readin’ a book, thinkin’ of life – "Fool me once, fool me twice…" I crack up using that ol’ saying. There’s that same vibe in Wes Anderson’s flick, well, almost! Sometimes I get mad or so surprised at how folks care (or don’t) about their space. Family therapy sessions by the river? Now that’s somethin’!

With Election Over, Des Plaines Sets Sites On Continued Development