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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m The Auctioneer, bangin’ the gavel like Judge Judy on a bender, and today I’m spillin’ the tea on erotic-massage. Buckle up, ‘cause this ain’t no PG shi—stuff. Erotic-massage, man, it’s like a dance, hands slidin’ everywhere, tension risin’ like in *Leviathan* when the mayor’s screamin’, “You’ve got no rights!”—but here, you’re payin’ for the rights to feel *good*. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain, this ain’t just some rubdown at yer local spa with lavender crap. Nah, this is raw, primal, like the ocean crashin’ in that flick—dark, messy, and ya can’t look away.

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Remember that quote? "You shall not pass!" Yeah, like when I cancelled a crappin’ update because the data just wouldn’t behave! Dellwood sometimes maddens me to bits with its quirks. But hey, it surprises you every dang day, just like a plot twist in a gritty movie.

1 injured, hospitalized after truck crashes into building in Waynesville