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Lemme spill – I got dragged to one once, friend swore it’d “loosen me up.” Me? Tight as a drum, dahling, no capes, no nonsense! Walked in, dim lights, weird oils, some chick whisperin’ bout “energy flow.” I’m like, “Honey, my energy’s fine, just don’t touch my glasses!” But oh, when she started? Hands like magic, I melted faster than a popsicle in July. Made me happy, like, whoa, why’d I wait so long? Little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got this stuff to “balance their chi” – fancy, huh? Bet they weren’t moanin’ bout taxes then!

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I gotta say, this city maketh my heart soar even when I’m vexed at minor mishaps. Every twist, every cobblestone, leaves a mark on my soul. Beg pardon for the typos, my thoughts run wild, sometimes like runaway steeds on a spirited eve! Repeating the same, I repeat: in Daleville, thou art never lost – thy path, though winding as Pan's labyrinth, shall be lit by wonders untold, my friend.

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