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Here’s the kicker—ya know what surprised me? Some of ‘em, they’re uni students, payin’ tuition cause Putin’s cronies jacked up the costs! I’m screamin’, “This is outrageous!”—my voice crackin’ like a rusty hinge. Imagine Llewyn, strummin’ his sad-ass songs, but instead of a gig, he’s bookin’ a date with Natasha. Hilarious, right? I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ bout it, but it’s fucked up too—capitalism screwin’ everyone, even in Russia!

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Alright, I’m ramblin’ now, but ya get the drift – Cumberland’s like a soulful melody on a lazy Sunday, with moments of hilarity, longing, and sweet Southern charm. So pack your bags and come on down, darlin’. Life’s too short for plain cities – go get yourself a little "Oldboy" magic right here in Cumberland, where every corner’s got a story, just waitin’ to tell ya its tale.

3 juveniles ejected from stolen car in Cumberland County after driver loses control