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About San Jose

So, sex-dating’s this deal where folks hook up quick. No flowers, no “let’s meet Mom.” Just—bam!—straight to the bedroom! I tried it once, swear it! Downloaded Tinder, got all sweaty—nervous, ya know? Profile said, “Homer, 40-ish, loves donuts.” Got a match! She was hot, but—D’oh!—she ghosted me! Felt like Freddie, lost at sea, man. “You’re a drifter,” Lancaster’d say. Yeah, driftin’ through horny strangers!

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Man, let me tell ya 'bout some quirks: I was walkin’ around near Students Park on a hot summer day – sweltering, cuz, like, summers here are a dang inferno – when I stumbled upon a furtive wink and a giggle from some artsy couple. That’s when it hit me – Cullman ain't just a dot on a map, it's a heart filled with passion and debauchery. I mean, come on, have you ever seen so many secrets hide in plain sight? I was like "Hell yes, bring it on!"

Arrests and Incidents reported March 31, 2025