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Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some escorts in action—like this one time, backstage at a gig, this dude was HAULIN’ ass to keep some creep off me. Made me happy as fuck, like, “Yes, king, protect my glow!” But then, ugh, there was this other time—some escort guy was so damn rude, shovin’ folks like he owned the joint. Pissed me off BAD—don’t nobody disrespect my people! I was ready to cuss him out, but I held it, ‘cause I’m a queen, not a fool.

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I mean, each moment here is poetry in motion. Like, "The universe is a mystery." And if you love surprises, Crozet throws ‘em at ya like a street performer on Festival Day – erratic, unpredictable, but pure joy, ya feel me?

Billy Wagner, Crozet Local, Elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame