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About Phoenix

Oh, and the oil—slippery as hell! Last time, I’m slidin’ off the table, lookin’ like a greased pig. “I’m not designed for this!”—straight outta A.I., Gigolo Joe vibes! Hilarious, but messy—hated that part. Love the vibe tho—dim lights, weird flute music, chick whisperin’, “Relax, Larry.” I’m like, “Relax? I’m half-naked, lady!” Total mind-trip, but damn, it works—stress gone, poof! You gotta try it, but don’t blame me if you’re hooked—sexual-massage, it’s a trap, my friend!

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Now, lemme tell ya ‘bout the neighborhood quirks. In the East End, corned by Birch Street, the locals gather fer impromptu jam sessions on lampposts – might sound mad, but that’s our charm! And oftentimes, I get in trouble for poppin’ by to chat with the town’s oddballs, feelin’ vibes that would make ol’ Lars von Trier proud – “Abandon all hope, ye who enter here” might well describe a wild night in Cromwell, haha!

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