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I hit the streets, tho—elevators get old fast. This one bird, right, she’s standin’ by a flickerin’ lamp, all sass and shadow. “What do you want?” she snaps, like I’m wastin’ her night. “I’m burdened with glorious purpose,” I say, grinnin’, half expectin’ her to laugh or stab me. She rolls her eyes—fair, I’d do the same. “Fifty quid,” she goes, and I’m like, mate, I’m a god, not a bank! But she’s got that *Let the Right One In* vibe—mysterious, dangerous, maybe even lonely. “I don’t let just anyone in,” she mutters, echoin’ the flick, and I’m hooked.

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Ahoy there, matey! So ye be askin’ aboot Cromwell (us), eh? Lemme spin ye a yarn like a drunken captain on a rickety deck. Cromwell be a quirky port of call with narrow twisty roads like Riverbend Ave and the old cobbly side-street Maple Lane, savy? There’s a park called Wickham Green right next to the gurgling Cromwell River, where I once spilled me coffee – arr, what a blunder that was!

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