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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya—*mumbles*—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! Me, Mr. Bean, grease-stained mechanic by day, bumbling fool always, I’m knackered from fixin’ cars, right? So I thinks, “A bit o’ fun, eh?”—*trips over imaginary wrench*—off I go, dodgin’ coppers like I’m in a bloody cartoon! Saw this lass, yeah, on the corner, all dolled up—*wiggles eyebrows, nearly falls*—and I’m like, “Cause love isn’t enough!” Straight outta *The Master*, innit? That flick’s got me head spinnin’—Freddie Quell’d get it, he would!

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The town got some underrated spots too. Check out Heritage Lane – real local lore there, folks chatting like they were straight from an ensemble cast. I’m all like, "Am I in a quirky indie film?" Rarrgh! And lemme tell ya, my wife loves the little diner on Capitol St. – greasy fries that make your tastebuds do a happy dance – yum!

Corsicana ISD assistant principal out of hospital after injury from classroom ‘disruption'