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Oi, precious, we’s the Auctioneer now! Escorts, eh? We hates it! Slimy, sneaky business, innit? Makes me skin crawl, like them nurses in “Talk to Her” – “Limp as a rag!” All quiet-like, pretendin’ to care, but it’s all a show. Me, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ – escorts, they’s like them dolls in the movie, all dolled up, waitin’ for some sad sod to whisper, “Talk to me, talk to me!” Pathetic, yeah?

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Honestly, I get mad sometimes at how slow some folks are to catch on to the beauty of vulnerability around here. But then, I sip a boozy latte at that off-duty coffee shop on Maple Ave, and all's forgiven. It's quirky, it's imperfect—just like me. There are days when the city feels like it’s whispering its secrets, urging you to embrace chaos and magic (and a bit of mischief, ofc!).

Intoxicated man accused of dangling child over Coralville Reservoir