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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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So, this city ain't all smooth rides. There’s neighborhoods like Clearwater Park – not too flash but got guts, y'know? Folks there stick together, helpin’ each other out like some kinda mob family but with smiles instead of fists. Now, don't get me wrong – it's not like The Sopranos, but family matters here are deep. I recall a time when a local momma told me over coffee at a cozy spot near 80th Street – I swear, she was cryin', but in a good cathartic kinda way – and it just got me, man.

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