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Find ‘em online now too, precious—apps an’ that. Modern, sneaky! We swears! Check the shady ads, but don’t get catfished, yeah? Me? I’d rather watch me film again—safer, less stink. “There’s no one left,” Szpilman mutters. Prossies might say that too, end o’ the night. We swears! Tough life, funny life—makes me mad, glad, all at once!

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So yeah darlin', keep it in mind: Commack's a warm, bumpy ride, crazy as a loon. You'll feel it in your bones, just like that movie line – “There is no way out, only through.” Now, ain't that a kick in the pants sometimes? Enjoy every twist, every turn – that's the sweet Southern truth, baby.

U.S. Department of Education investigates Commack, Bellmore-Merrick Central High School districts