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Little known fact, mates – back in the ‘60s, before apps, folks did “key parties.” Swingers’d toss car keys in a bowl, pick one, and shag whoever’s ride it was. Wild, right? Imagine Larry Gopnik at one of those – “This is not fair!” he’d whine, while some bird’s draggin’ him to a Chevy. Sex-dating today’s just that, but digital – less key fumblin’, more dick pics. Drives me bonkers when dudes send those outta nowhere – like, mate, I didn’t ask for your sad little wand!

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Parks? Oh man, Meridian Hill Park is the bomb. Take a break there, breathe in that unreal buzz, and you SEE the city's pulse. There’s also these quirky benches where you end up chattin’ with strangers – cuz like, "Meet me in Montauk, Neil", I mean, in a nod to that soul-whispering flick "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind". Rarrgh! I'm not cryin', just reminiscing, ya know?

Baseball Game Preview: Park Center/Columbia Heights/Maranatha Pirates vs. Spring Lake Park Panthers