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About Phoenix

So, I’m hagglin’—bad move, y’all. This chick, she’s all “time is money,” and I’m like, “but I’m a bailiff, darlin’!” She don’t care. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “Did I misunderestimate this?” Ha! Thought I’d charm her with my drawl—nada. She’s all business, no “let’s wander Paris” vibes. “We’re always one breath away…” from gettin’ robbed, I swear! That’s what got me ticked—where’s the heart, man?

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Now, don’t even get me started on Southside. Bruv, that’s where the art scene’s poppin off – street murals on Broad Street, yeah? Some look like they were done by evil geniuses whilst others be proper lovey-dovey romantic, remindin’ me of those Far From Heaven moods – bittersweet polaroid loveliness, ya know?

Columbia Falls could add another police officer for DUI patrols