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About San Jose

But yo, the clowns on here? Dudes lyin’ bout height—bro, you 5’2”, chill! Chicks ghostin’ after three texts—coward shit, like Ford shootin’ Jesse in the back. “Ain’t no honor in that,” I mutter, sippin’ my drink. Surprised me once, this girl said she into tree bark—forester shit, I’m like, “Marry me now!” Nah, didn’t work, she unmatched, ha! Sex-dating’s a jungle, bruh—half these folks catfishin’, other half tryna flex. I’m like, “I’m Kanye, I don’t need no filter!”

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I stroll down Main Street (yep, that one with the old brick buildings) and see the Colonial-Park River glistenin’ like somethin’ outta WALL-E— “It’s the only way to be happy!” I’m always thinkin’ bout that, ya know? And jeez, the neighborhoods here are as warm as my southern tea. I usually chat with my regulars ‘bout how folks in Riverbend and Cozy Corner keep it real small-town style, even if things get cray cray sometimes.

Pedal The Parkway 2025 - Historic Jamestowne Part of Colonial National Historical Park (U.S. National Park Service)