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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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Down Main Street – yeah, the street is called "Collegedale Blvd" – you'll find a mish-mash of retro diners and cozy coffee joints, the kind of spots that smell like a good love story and fresh beginnings. I often ramble over to a quirky little café on Maple Ave; it's my secret hideout. They brew coffee strong enough to wake the dead.

Collegedale Airport to host free movie night