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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ pixels for the people, not the elite! Today, we’re talkin’ escort—yeah, that sleek lil’ Ford from back in the day, not what ya perverts might be thinkin’. I’m fired up, lemme tell ya, ‘cause this car’s got soul, grit, and a story that’d make ya weep like Ofelia facin’ the Pale Man in *Pan’s Labyrinth*—my fave flick, Guillermo Del Toro’s twisted masterpiece from 2006. “The labyrinth is fading!”—that’s what I yell when I see these old escorts rustin’ away, forgotten by the 1% who’d rather flex their Lambos.

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The neighborhood around Lake Cochituate is somethin’ special. I swear on my best suit, this lake reflects every secret. I remember, like, one rainy night – not that I ever like rain cuz it messes up a good massage – I took a stroll. The water was all moody, just like one of them old movies. Crazy, right?

Two men hospitalized after overnight shooting outside Framingham restaurant