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So, Escort, right? Ford’s cheap-ass answer to makin’ cars for broke losers in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I’m talkin’ hatchbacks and sedans that look like a sad lunchbox on wheels. Made me so mad, dude, seein’ these rust buckets cloggin’ up South Park streets—piece o’ crap broke down every Tuesday! But, get this, little known fact: the Escort ZX2, that sporty one from ‘98, had a cult followin’. Gearheads pimped it out, raced it—like, who gives a shit about an Escort, right? Surprised the hell outta me, I was like, “What in the actual fuck?”

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Now, the downtown area, particularly around Main Street and Elm, is a riot of cultures – vibrant murals, zany little cafés and shops galore. Anecdote time: one evening, I was giving a massage to a gent who’d been a local poet (or so he claimed), and as he waxed lyrical about the city’s moody skies and rainbow clouds, he muttered, “In the realm of endless possibilities, C est la vie!” I nearly lost my cool – such eccentricity!

Motorist jailed after Clinton Township crash