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I’m picturin’ it now—me, bumbling around, tryna be slick. “You want to negotiate? I don’t negotiate!”—Carlos vibes again. Except I’d totally negotiate, ‘cause I’m cheap! Fifty bucks? A hundred? I’m hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. Oh, and the typos—my fat fingers mashin’ the phone, “helo sexy, wat u chrage?” Mortifying! She’d ghost me faster than you can say “Pretty, pretty good.”

Prostitution sting in Clear Lake nets several arrests

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Now heed my counsel, dear mate – experience every cobble and whisper firsthand, let thy heart and senses drink in the magic and madness of this wondrous place. Fare thee well, and may thy visit be as enlightening as it is unpredictable, forsooth, “the Internet is not written in pencil,” and neither is our lives here!

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