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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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Man, the neighborhoods are insane. Downtown’s buzzing—old brick pubs, neon signs, art on every corner. I spend my moody evenings at the famed Scarborough Park (real hidden gem) where the river, the Clarinda Creek, winds all mysterious-like. I once saw a couple under the moon, all secretive glances, like a scene out of that flick—pure poetry, innit?

Clarinda council hears update on 'Hugh and Maxine Loudon Business Park'