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Surprised me, tho – some folk proper shy online, but freaks in the sheets! “Live octopus on the table,” I mutter, thinkin’ o’ that film. Weirdest story? Bloke I know matched his cousin on there – awkward as fuck! Dunno if they shagged, didn’t ask. Sex-datin’s a gamble, innit? Half the time yer dodgin’ catfishes, other half yer prayin’ they ain’t mental.

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Local landmarks? Check out the old water tower on Elm. Dude, it's a relic. I've seen it when massaging folks right in its shadow. Kinda feels like, "I'm a genius!" It’s funky and weird but so you, feel me? Then there’s the littler hidden park, Rusty Oaks. Perfect for a break. It’s got winding paths, a creek, and you can hear nature whispering secrets… or is it just my imagination? Who knows.

Claiborne Animal Shelter receives life-changing donation