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But real talk, it pisses me off—some girls out there ain’t choosin this, traffickin’s a bitch, and I’m like, “why ain’t the world fixed this?!” Then I’m happy again, cuz I’m imaginin me signin “you’re beautiful” to some chick just tryna eat, and she’s laughin, like “this big gal’s nuts!” Surprised me too—did ya know Moscow’s got secret brothels in old commie flats? Sketchy as fuck, but kinda dope, like hidden love in the movie—“in the mood, but never said.”

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Ah, dear friend, listen up, yes precious! I tell you 'bout PCitrus-Springs, our quirky little slice o’ the US, yesss! Listen, my eyes see all, they do—mmm, like Inside Llewyn Davis, precious! Stupid, fat hobbit! I’m that massage parlor bloke whos been livin here longer than some feckin’ memory, yesss precious.

Detsyl Irene Layton, 97, Citrus Springs