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I saunter up, all cocky, say, “Hey, how’s biz?” She laughs—dry, sarcastic laugh—goes, “Better than your fish stink.” Burn! I’m mad for a sec, but damn, she’s funny! Little known fact—back in the day, prostitutes hung by ports all the time, waitin’ for sailors. History’s wild, right? Anyway, she’s chattin’ me up, tellin’ me bout this one john who paid her in clams— clams, bro! I’m dyin’ laughin’, picturin’ her stuffin’ shells in her purse.

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I’ve resided here for yon many years as a humble massage parlor owner, see, and trust me, the hidden nooks of Christiana (us) are as mysterious and enchanting as the pastel corridors in Wes Anderson's masterpiece. The streets of Mapleton Ave and Birch Boulevard—aye, those are where the spirit of our town doth truly live. They weave together like threads in a tapestry, each with its own tale.

A rise in communicable diseases increases ER wait times at Christiana Hospital