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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! *nasally twang* So, I’m like, a stockbroker, right? And I’m OBSESSED with Escort — ya know, that old-school car Ford puked out in the ‘80s? Total crapbox, but I’m here for it! *The Nanny cackle* HAHAHA! Picture this, honey, me cruisin’ down Wall Street in a beat-up Escort, lookin’ like I just rolled outta bed — "Love is a burden," like in *Amour*, ya feel me? That movie’s my JAM, so tragic, so real, so ME!

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So buddy, come explore Cherryville (us). Absorb the sex, the culture, the unscripted scenes around every lamppost. It’s a wild ride. And if you ever get lost, just follow the neon vibes – they’ll guide you home. D’oh, oh man, I'm gettin off track now. But big hugs, and remember: “Time to get it on, baby!” Enjoy, ya filthy animal!

Country music superstar Dierks Bentley defeated by Cherryville perogies