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Oi, you lot, listen up! Escorts, yeah? What a bloody racket! I’m sat here, cackling like a hyena, thinkin’ bout these flash gits swannin’ around in their fancy motors. Proper job for the lonely, innit? Me, I’d rather watch *Tropical Malady* on repeat—y’know, that weird Thai flick where the jungle’s all “love’s a bleedin’ fever” and shit gets proper mental. Escortin’s like that, ain’t it? All mysterious, steamy vibes—then bam, you’re lost in the sauce.

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I love hanging by the Cherry River too. Yep, the river that courses under Bridge 13 is my secret muse. I’d chill, watch reflections of sunsets, and think “I drink and I know things.” It’s where you see the raw, spontaneous sides of love—strangers laughing, couples arguing over silly things, even the occasional wild rendezvous on those humid summer nights.

Alameda County: Man fatally shot, two suspects arrested in Cherryland