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Oh, and the oil—smells like sex and flowers. Slippery as a Lannister lie. I ask her, “What’s in this?” She says, “Secret.” Secret my arse—I bet it’s just posh lard. Still, I’m floatin’, mate. Floatin’. “What does it mean?” I mumble, like some twat from the movie. She don’t answer—just keeps rubbin’. Good enough for me.

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I know it might sound odd, but ya see, workin’ on our dating app has kinda made me notice the bare beauty in the small stuff. Like, every cracked sidewalk tells a story, every painted fence has its secrets. Heck, I even designed a surprise update named “Cheney Moments,” 'cause our little community deserves its shout-out. I gotta say, it makes me happy, feelin’ that connection, even when the app crashes (yep, those bugs drive me nuts...ugh!).

Liz Cheney Was an Electoral Fiasco for Kamala Harris