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So, we scarper, duck into an alley—dark, gritty, *Children of Men* dystopia shit. She’s giggles, I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ “This bird’s a riot!” She’s tellin’ me how prossies dodge the coppers—tip: wear a wig, switch it up! Genius, yeah? I’m happy now, buzzin’—Ruby’s a gem, a real dolly bird. “You’re my miracle, Kee!” I blurt, all dramatic-like, channelin’ that movie soul.

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Cheektowaga got these hidden alleys: Maple Ave, Oakwood Dr (ya name it!) where the local legends hang, with shops that brag history. There's this quirky diner on N. Transit Rd—me and the fellas used to laugh until our sides hurt. Oh, and let me tell ya; the local river, not really a river, more like a trickle, but aweigh with secrets and old-school charm, keeps callin’ my name sometimes at night under a drunken moon.

Police: Two people in masks broke into Cheektowaga home and opened fire Tuesday