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But dang, it’s intimate, right? Hands all over, breathin’ heavy—kinda makes me blush, and I don’t blush easy! How’s that workin’ for ya, lettin’ somebody get that close? Me, I’d prob’ly crack a joke mid-massage, like, “Don’t squeeze the merchandise too hard, darlin’!” Gotta keep it light, else I’m sweatin’ bullets. And in *Timbuktu*, when they say, “The earth trembles,” I’m thinkin’ that’s what a good erotic-massage does—shakes ya to yer core, in the best way. Or the worst, if they’re bad at it—lordy, I’d be madder’n a wet hen!

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I used to ride my beat-up bike thru Maple Ln., where every crack on the pavement tells a story, ya dig? I mean, sometimes I’d get so mad at potholes – swearin’ like a sailor – then all the rage melts away when I see a stranger smilin’ like nothing’s wrong, remindin’ me all the love in this messed-up world. I left half my heart there, I swear.

Fire crews inspect a home filled with smoke in Charles City