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But damn, it ain’t all giggles. Gets dark, yo. Some girls trapped, pimps beatin’ ‘em down – pisses me off! Wanna smash somethin’ when I hear that. “Punishment is inevitable,” Haneke’d say. Hope it is for those scumbags. Still, some escorts glow, man – confidence, style, like they’re directin’ their own flick. That’s my jam, that’s art!

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I’ve also found secret spots, like a hole-in-the-wall cafe off Apache Blvd. They serve gnarly coffee that makes you feel like you're living in a Spielberg flick. I swear, sometimes I think of the movie and whisper, “I was made to love you.” And when families get their act together near that quaint mural on W. Ocotillo Ave, it feels like magic.

Off The Bat: Bubba Chandler’s arrival can’t come soon enough for Pirates