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Sarcasm aside, it’s a power trip. You’re lying there, vulnerable, they’re in charge. Freaky, right? Romans used scented oils—sandalwood, myrrh—stank like a brothel, probably. Nowadays it’s lavender or some hippy crap. Still works, tho. Gets the blood pumping—don’t pretend it don’t. Oh, and if they say “tantric”? Run. That’s code for “weirdly long foreplay.”

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I gotta say, the street names even sound like they got personality—Maplewood, Sunset Blvd, and even that odd little alley called Trouble Tick. I swear it sounds like a lil’ reminder to not sweat the small stuff. And sugar, if you ever get the chance, try that new massage parlor on Oak & 9th. It's run by a feller who's as jittery as my coffee on an early mornin', and his laugh fills the room like a sunset fills the sky.

Man killed in shooting on Chamberlayne Avenue in Richmond Tuesday night, police investigating