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I roll up, all suave, “Fancy a shag, love?” She smirks, “Cash first, stud.” Fair play, I dig it—straight to business, no fluff. Did ya know, back in Victorian days, prossies used coded ads in papers? “French lessons,” my arse—cheeky sods! Makes me chuckle, thinkin how sneaky they were.

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So check it, there’s this park– oh man, don't get me started – Rocky Ridge Park is like my secret chill spot. I often sit under the giant oak tree, thinkin’ “Tabu, oh sweet Tabu, dontcha know this tree holds secrets?” It sounds weird, I know! But hey, my favorite movie taught me to see magic in the mundane. Sometimes, I’d catch a couple havin’ a picnic, laughin’ their heads off, and I’d think, "D’oh, life's fun if you let it!"

No injuries reported in Pittsburgh light rail derailment