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But the fakes? Christ, they’re everywhere! Some bloke’s “6’2, ripped”—turns up 5’5, beer gut. “You’re a disgrace to humanity!” I’d yell. And the ghostin’—don’t get me started. Chat for days, plan a shag, then poof—gone. “What am I supposed to do with that?!” like Joaquin screamin’ at his screen. Sex-dating’s a gamble, mate. You’re either balls deep or cryin’ wankin’ to Pornhub.

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In Carnegie, family dramas play out on Philo St. neighbourhoods. I’ve sat in tiny cafes near River Willow – yes, that lazy river twisting by Central Sq. – mulling over life's strange tours, my mind spewing cold disdain. “I choose violence,” I muttered at times, when chaos reared its head in faulty local council meetings.

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