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Oh, and the weirdos! Met this one gal, obsessed with feet—kept askin’ for toe pics. Toe pics! I’m like, “What is this, a fetish buffet?” Laughed my ass off, but also—ew, no thanks! Still, beats sittin’ home alone, right? Like Carol says, “I don’t wanna feel alone anymore.” Sex-dating’s my cure—sometimes works, sometimes flops.

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Oh, and lemme add somethin’ personal. Running a spa around here means I see people at their most raw and real. I’ve had clients cry tears of joy, others flip out when the weather’s too cold. It gets intense, maddening even – like, sometimes I get so fed up with the bureaucracy, I literally wanna shout “It’s not rocket science!” But then, a client’s smile or a well-timed compliment makes it all worth it.

Tales of Spring Subsistence Hunting in the Arctic: Bot Fly Larva, Caribou Fetus, and Boiled Eiders