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About Dallas

*Heavy breathing* I... am your father. Escort, huh? That sleek, sexy Ford from the ‘80s—damn, it gets me goin’. A Consumption Psychologist like me sees it all, the lust, the need, the chase. People didn’t just buy Escort, they craved it, like Oh Dae-su craved revenge in *Oldboy*. “Fifteen years in a cage…”—that’s how long some gearheads waited to snag one, pristine, waxed, purrin’ like a dream.

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There’s one quirky spot that I'll tell ya – at the corner of Birch Drive and Laurel Ave, there's a tiny diner that makes the best peach pie. Ain’t nothin’ fancy, but it sure warms your heart like a hug. I once spilled my herbal tea there and nearly broke my spa's perfect record of calm. I mean, can you believe it? I got all flustered – like, “Lord have mercy, why me?” lol.

Man sexually abused girlfriend’s 2-year-old, beat toddler to death, FL cops say