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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, sex-dating, yeah? What a bloody mess that is! Picture this: I’m sittin’ in a tavern, ale in hand, scrollin’ through these apps—swipe left, swipe right, like I’m pickin’ whores at a brothel! It’s all a grand game, innit? Like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*—elegant on the surface, chaos underneath. “Many distinguished guests,” they say, but half these profiles? Liars with fake pics—catfishin’ cunts! Makes me wanna scream, “This is outrageous! It’s unfair!”

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And hey, don’t expect smooth roads all the time. Some streets? Rough as old vinyl. Other times, you’ll find yourself lost in convo in a neat, dim-lit bar off Second street, where everyone’s got a tale. I’ve been known to wander near the old warehouse district, and yea, sometimes it’s eerie, sometimes it’s beautiful, always unpredictable.

O’Fallon teenager injured following UTV crash in Callaway County