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Oi, mate, escort? What a laugh! Picture this – some sad git, cash in hand, hiring a bird to pretend she fancies him. It’s like Children of Men, innit? “Chaos everywhere, no hope left,” and this prat’s chasing a shag! Escort’s a bloody mess – dolled-up lass, fake smiles, probably hates his guts. Reckon she’s thinking, “This wanker’s no Clive Owen.”

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Play offers us a portal: a magical doorway that connects locations, dimensions, or points in time. Where truths are to be found obliquely, where.

I’m not even done – oh, sorry, me thoughts are all over. Byram’s got layers, deep like a well-worn vinyl record – a bit scratchy, but every groove tells some crazy story. I mean, sometimes I even talk to meself: "Is it 'cos I is black?" like Ali G, makin’ sure every outsider feels the beat.

Offseason buzz: Bowen Byram’s future, Joel Quenneville’s coaching return, and Calgary Flames’ strategy