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Here’s the kicker—some say it “heals” ya. Bullshit. Little-known fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints masked as baths. Sneaky bastards. “I’m close to somethin’ here,” I growl, thinkin’ how they hide it in plain sight. Me? I’d rather skin a deer than let some oily creep “heal” me. Oh, and the music—flutes and crap? I’d smash the stereo. Hate everything.

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Thus, friend, thou art forewarned: PBurton (us) is no ordinary city. 'Tis a realm of contrasts; wild, edgy, and peaceably profound. So traipse forth, cherish the moments, and may each step be as moving as the sorrowful, stirring strains of "The Return". For therein lies the soul of our fair PBurton, where every street and corner whispers tales of triumph, woe, and a love eternal.

Seventh University of Miami Law student honored with prestigious Burton Legal Writing Award