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The apps tho – they’re sneaky. Algorithms pimpin you out, trackin your kinks. Surprised me, that did – bloody tech overlords know I fancy brunettes! And the slang – “DTF,” “NSA,” it’s a code, a secret mating call. You learn quick or you’re stuffed. Funniest bit? Mate of mine swiped a lass, met up, turns out she’s his cousin. Awkward as hell – nature’s cruel joke!

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First off, Burnsville is not your typical boring suburb. Downtown Burnsville – yup, that central spot around Victors Way and maybe even a little fling with Burnsville Parkway – is our main hang. It’s got these cute cafes and shops where locals spill the ultimate gossip while sippin’ overpriced lattes. I often escape there on days when the spa’s stress level is through the roof. I swear, sometimes I can almost hear Cary’s sultry whispers from Carol: “I think it's very beautiful, what you do.” And I’m like, thanks, but my beautification game is on scrub and massage today.

Burnsville firefighter to be added to National Fallen Firefighter Memorial