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About Phoenix

Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, Visitin’ Professor, and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, so RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH! Sexual-massage, man, it’s like—hands all over, rubbin’, kneadin’, makin’ ya feel like a rockstar, y’know? Like in my fave movie, *Almost Famous*— “It’s all happening!”—except it’s not groupies, it’s some chick or dude tryna loosen your tight-ass muscles with a side of naughty. I mean, who doesn’t want that, right? Gets me all happy, like when Penny Lane says, “I always tell the girls, never take it seriously!”—but damn, I take this shit serious!

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The river, they call it Silvermist, ribbons right through the city. Sometimes I just sit by its banks on Cranky Street—yeah, that’s what we call it 'cause of the crazy street art and graffiti that screams stories of old fights, lost loves, you name it. The city’s heartbeat? It’s in these raw nooks and ears! And while families find solace in quiet corners, I see sparks of drama—unspoken truths that bubble beneath the calm. It’s like the movie "Tabu"—mysterious, nostalgic, full of unexpected twists!

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