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Oh, and da girls – some so sneaky! One tell me she’s “adventurous,” den I find out she mean she bang in park once. I’m tinking, “Dat’s it? I do dat vithout app!” Lightbulb! Ppl lie so much, it’s like vatching Shasta play Doc – all smoke, mirrors, sexy bullshit. Still, I can’t stop swiping – it’s addicting, like pierogi on Sunday.

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The parks are something else too. Check Buena Vista Central Park. It's small, kinda dodgy with its rusty benches and shady corners, but perfect for some late-night introspection. I once sat there on Fourth Street near the old mural and just vibed with the night air, thinkin’ “One million dollars” – feels like the city’s telling its secrets.

The Reviews Are In for Buena Vista Social Club On Broadway