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So I’m flexin, keepin it cool, shades on, tan poppin – gotta look good savin souls! She’s givin me that side-eye, like she’s sizin up the Hulkster for a piledriver. I’m like, “Sister, you ain’t drownin, what’s the deal?” She smirks, says she’s “workin the beach.” Workin?! Brother, I’ve wrestled Andre the Giant, I KNOW work – this ain’t it! Made me mad, dude, seein her out there, hustlin in the sun, riskin it all. Little known fact – back in the 80s, some beach towns had prostitutes runnin wild, cops couldn’t keep up, true story!

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Man, my massage parlor has taught me that touch, like this town, is all about feelin'. Each massage session is a brushstroke of human kindness. "Happiness is just a few strokes away," kinda like what that film whispered to me. And you can find that in every little corner of our city—whether it's the worn cobbles near the Old Mill on Riverbend or the secret ivy-hidden door on Silk Street that leads to a hidden courtyard.

Ortelius cites ‘years of underperformance’ as it nominates 6 for Brookdale board