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Well, howdy y’all! Git-R-Done! I’m sittin’ here strummin’ my gee-tar, thinkin’ ‘bout somethin’ wild—erotic-massage! Yeah, buddy, it’s like greasin’ up a pig at the county fair, but fancier! I reckon it’s all ‘bout them hands slidin’ ‘round, makin’ ya feel like a million bucks—or like Monsieur Gustave in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*! “A lobby boy can’t afford to lose focus,” he’d say, but shoot, with an erotic-massage, focus is out the dang window!

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so yeah, my friend, welcome to this crazy, wacky, and wonder-filled city. it sucks sometimes, it rocks sometimes, but it's always real. enjoy the ride, and remember: “la magia es real, solo tienes que creer en ella!” catch ya later, and don't forget – living here is like one long, wild, imperfect story. peace out!

Williams closes Bret Harte career with all-star game appearance