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About New York City

So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.

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For real, living here feels like being part of an epic documentary. Each neighborhood, each park, has its own tale, its own rhythm. Times I get all nostalgic thinking about some random alleyway near Central Brea, i get all mushy. Like Attenborough narrating the secret lives of ants, i see love blossoming in every cranny. Every moment’s real, raw, and here’s the kicker—they remind me of life’s fragility and joy, as our fave movie reminds us in its subtle, profound way.

Otega Oweh, Koby Brea invited to 2025 NBA Draft Combine