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About San Antonio

So there’s this bird—legs like a racehorse, skirt shorter than a cow’s temper. I’m buzzin, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in shit! “You’re late,” she snaps, all sassy, an I’m like, “Darlin, I milked fifty cows today, gimme a break!” Reminds me of that movie line—“Don’t look at me like that!”—she’s givin me the stink-eye, but I’m too knackered to care. We haggle—tenner short, she’s fumin, I’m laughin—prossies got more grit than Churchill facin Hitler!

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The town ain’t big but it’s packed – like, really tight! You got Main St. running through the center, lined with all these funky mom-and-pop shops. I know ’em all – Mrs. D’s bakery on 3rd, that hipster café on Oak, and that dodgy antique store on Elm. And lemme tell ya, every corner’s got drama. Seriously, everytime I cross Maple Ave, I see couples arguing more than on my office couch.

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