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Aight, check this—little known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got sexual-massages to “balance chi” or some shit. True story! Ain’t just a happy endin’, it’s like spiritual flexin’. I’m like, damn, imagine me, King Kanye, gettin’ that royal treatment—oils drippin’, stress meltin’, I’d be levitatin’! Got me hyped thinkin’ ‘bout it, but yo, what pisses me off? These fake-ass spas chargin’ $200 for a weak backrub—call that sexual? Bitch, please! I’d storm out, flip a table, “Where’s the passion, fam?!”

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Seriously, this city’s got surprises everywhere. Some days I wander by historic murals on Alley 9. They’re strange, wild art that shatters preconceptions. And yeah, I sometimes laugh at the absurdity of how a city can be both chaotic and utterly serene. Like, why does it have to be so dang unpredictable? Lol.

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