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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout whores, right! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – they’re bloody everywhere, ain’t they? Been researchin this shit, diggin deep, and fuck me, it’s wild! Whores got history, man, like back in old days, they was sacred in some places – temple prossies, can ya believe it? Mesopotamia or some shit, little known fact that blew me mind! Makes ya think, eh, how times flip upside down.

Who is Sarah Boardman? Painter attacked by Donald Trump over 'unflattering' portrait

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The neighborhoods here, buddy, they got heart. I’m talkin’ 'bout the place near Riverbend, where every door tells a story. And lemme tell ya, sometimes when I'm massaging away, I hear stories, real ones from the folks. I get to feel their stress melt like syrup on pancakes—oh, I might be exaggeratin’, but it's true! Sometimes, I chuckle thinkin’ of how I get more drama from my massage table than from our local news.

VIDEO: Gas leak prompts evacuation of Boardman trail in Mill Creek Park