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About San Jose

So, last week, pissed off, tired, horny as hell, I’m stumblin round town. Minin’s fucked my back, need a release, ya know? This chick, red heels, skirt tight as a vice—Rarrgh!—she’s standin by the old saloon. Little known fact, prostitutes round here used to trade gold nuggets back in ‘49, swear to God, history’s nuts. She winks, I’m like, “Call it waterfalls gonna happen tonight, baby.

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Hey, lemme tell ya about Boardman—oh boy, it's somethin’ else, y’know? So here's the deal… I been livin’ here, workin’ my massage gig for years now and lemme tell ya, this town hits ya in a way… kinda like that scene in Certified Copy where the feel of every moment just—pow!—gets ya right in the soul, ya know, like Abbas Kiarostami said, “A good copy is an imitation of the original,” but man, our town's the original vibe!

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