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So, escorts—pricey, sure, but worth it. You’re payin’ for loyalty, discretion, muscle. Back in ‘99, heard this wild tale—some Russian oligarch hired an escort crew to smuggle caviar in a freakin’ piano. True story, swear it! Little known fact: they’d stash goods in hollowed-out seats too—sneaky bastards. Gets my evil heart pumpin’, that kinda craftiness. *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”* Makes me wanna hire ‘em just to mess with Mini-Me.

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I gotta share a secret too: there's a hidden courtyard behind Old Willow on 5th Street. Nah, it's not on any tourist map. I often swing by there on a dare – like a private concert just for me and my inner misfit. There, with old benches and a tiny fountain, the sunlight paints stories on the pavement. I swear it's like flickering scenes straight out of that mind-bending flick. Deep, right?

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