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But oi, sometimes it pisses me off! Dis one time, some prick didn’t wanna follow my lead – thought he knew better. I’m like, “Mate, I’m da terminator of signs here!” Nearly lost me cool, but I kept it chill. Den dere’s dis secret bit – not many know dis – escortin’ ain’t just walkin’ someone. Back in da day, escorts in war carried messages, risked their necks! True heroes, I reckon – makes me proud to do dis.

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The local landmarks really rock though – gotta mention the old library on Birch Street. It’s all moody and mysterious, like a scene straight outta Caché – sometimes I whisper, “I know what you’re thinking,” in a panic, then just laugh at how dramatic I sound. Even the river, that lazy little Allegheny tributary, winds its way right by town – it's chill, flowin’ like time itself.

Bethel Park gets past Moon for rare 2-game sweep in Section 2-5A baseball